Christian zealots terrorizing Christians by calling Atheist group terrorists

UPDATE: This post is now for humour and lulz (at my expense) purposes only. I’ve just been informed that this is a parody site. In my own defense, however, the millions of religious rightards in the world have made it impossible to use ridiculousness as a red flag for satire.

I just stumbled upon a piece of old news that was too absurd to not write about. The culprit of this Christian-on-Christian fear-mongering is OBJECTIVE: Ministries, an organization that easily qualifies as one of fullblown religulous lunacy. A quick glance at its homepage will provide a king’s buffet of psychotic idiocy and paranoia. And it will leave no doubts about its primary objectives: to fully Christianize the world, squeezing out all types of non-Christian and insufficiently Christian thinking and behaviour.

Consider some of the activism that it prominently endorses:

  • The Cross in Space – A mission to make sure the Cross is above every nation of the world by launching it into space in a Polar orbit.
  • The Chalcedon Foundation – Exposing the bankruptcy of all non-Christian (and alleged but compromising Christian) systems of thought and practices and dedicated to providing the tools for rebuilding this Christian civilization with a devotion to maximum individual freedom under God’s law.
  • Pray For France – Currently, France is 99% unsaved, with a shocking 30% afflicted with full-blown Atheism! Rampant secularization has created this situation in what should be a Godly country. But the French Revival is imminent with our help — through Prayer! (Also consider purchasing a “God Bless France” bumper-sticker to get the Word out.)
  • The nuttery of this site could not be done full justice without making a special post just for it. But that’s not the point here. The point here is to talk about a particular instance in which they attempted to use malicious lies to demonize a group of atheists and to scare Christians out of possibly giving a listen to the atheists’  message.

    This event took place in April 2006, and pertained to the people behind The God Who Wasn’t There‘s War on Easter. Here is their unedited declaration:

    Militant Atheists are targeting churches as part of a self-declared “War on Easter”

    Suspicious Atheist
    If you see suspicious Atheist types like the one above lurking around your church, call the police immediately.

    The “War on Easter” campaign, designed to terrorize churches across our nation, is part of a larger war on Christians being waged by the leftist forces of Secularism. The group responsible has a website where they issue marching orders, distribute their hate propaganda, and sinisterly post pictures of churches they have attacked.

    They call on members of Atheist sleeper-cells in our communities to sneak onto church property and place anti-Christian fliers — most disturbingly, ones targeting children — and copies of a low-budget film entitled Your God Wasn’t There, which claims that Jesus has abandoned America. As proof of their anti-Christian motives, they are calling for “666” of the DVDs to be hidden around churches in time for family Easter-egg hunt activities.

    This growing war on Christians has hit home for us as we learned of it this morning when one of their crude fliers was found taped to the front door of Mt. Fellowship Church. Later, our grounds keeper found one of their DVDs hidden in a bush in the church rose garden, where we will be holding our Easter-egg hunt this Sunday. It had a note attached reading “You found the lucky egg”, proving that it was meant for one of our children.

    (The culprit is still at large. However, we are conducting a thorough sweep of the garden to make sure no other items were planted and that the area is safe for children. Rest assured that come Sunday, Lambuel’s Easterday Eggstravaganza will not be interrupted by terrorists.)

    If your church is targeted, we urge you to take the matter seriously and report the incident to the Department of Homeland Security. While the fliers and poorly produced DVDs may seem like some juvenile prank pulled by Secularized teens, the people doing these acts of domestic terrorism are part of an axis of anti-Christianity that is aligned with bioterrorists who seek to wipe out 90% of humanity with ebola virus. We cannot stress strongly enough that you should not open any of the DVD cases as it is unknown what sort of agents or improvised devices might be inside.

    How completely despicable. How on earth is placing fliers and DVDs on a church terrorism? And where in the bloody HELL did these clowns get the idea that these atheists are aligned with international bioterrorists?! I’m not a US civil rights attorney, but I would imagine that this degree of disingenuous malicious defamatory hate- and fear-mongering is sufficient justification for legal action. I’m honestly not quite sure where I stand on the atheists activities in this incident – it surely wasn’t illegal or punishable, but I’m not sure that I’d personally have endorsed it. But regardless, OBJECTIVE: Ministries response is nothing short of deplorable.

    But I guess in their deluded minds, in which the Bible is the inerrant literal word of God and deviation from the divine path is the necessary and sufficient precursor to an eternity in hell, the communication of un-Christian thinking to children whose brainwashing may not yet be complete is among the greatest acts of inhumanity that one could perpetrate. As that evil atheist Sam Harris has pointed out, “if you believe that there is something so spiritually wayward that your neighbour could say to your child that it would put him or her on a path to eternal damnation in hell, then your neighbour is far more dangerous than the child molester next door.”

    10 Responses to “Christian zealots terrorizing Christians by calling Atheist group terrorists”
    1. Evolved says:

      Psst…it is a parody site, Ron…

    2. scaryreasoner says:

      Uh… you do realize that Objective Ministries is a satirical site, right? Same with Landover Baptist, which Objective Ministries is associated with (maybe even the two are one and the same.)

      Check out the stuff you can buy there.

      (Didn’t see anything in your tags, etc. to indicate you already knew it was satire, but with Poe’s law… who the hell can tell anymore.)

    3. scaryreasoner says:

      Reminds me… I’ve got to get me one of them Mr. Gruff coffee mugs one of these days.

    4. Yes, it’s a parody site.

    5. I absolutely love this site! Landover Baptist is another great one to check out.

    6. Anonymous says:

      A Special Letter to All Christians

      Dear Pope and People,

      Las night I watched a sermon being held on my television set, and to be honest with all of you I was quite moved by the preacher (Mr. Ramsom Mumba) because he had a very powerful command of the English language and also some excellent skills in presentation – and if I may say so in ‘persuasion’.

      I am a Muslim, which means among many things the following:-

      *There is only one true God who is worthy to be worshipped, adored and followed;

      *There is a Last day of Judgment where all men and women will be summoned;

      *There is permanent bliss (Heaven) and there is also permanent blaze (Hell);

      *There are Angles and there are Devils;

      *God sent many prophets to mankind to guide them from time to time to return to the Right Path; many of the prophets had signs including a gospel or a revealed book from the Almighty God, Allah;

      *All the prophets which were sent by God preached one simple message: to worship alone the true God and not to associate or worship with him any other deity;

      *As a Muslim, it is necessary for my full faith to believe in Jesus, Moses and all the past prophets (from Noah and Abraham peace and blessings of God upon all of them);

      *Prophet Muhammad -according to my faith – is the last prophet and messenger sent by God to all of Mankind; and The Holy Qur’an is the Final Word revealed by God to all of mankind and jinkind;

      *Mary, Peace be upon her, gave birth to Jesus, peace and belssings of Allah upon him, miraculously without a father (with the will and spirit of God) in the same fashion that God created Adam with neither a father nor a mother, and also He created Eve without a mother etc..; (and created all of you and me with both) who are we to question God’s Will?;

      *Islam is a complete way to conduct one’s life; one of the main reasons why so many peoples find Islam to be so fascinating but still do not wish to join Islam is because it is quite a ‘committing’ religion (e.g. no girl friends or boy friends for that mtter, no drinking, no cheating, no stealing, and not to mention the compulsary five daily prayers, one month fasting, etc. etc.). What they do not know is that Islam is much more ‘liberating’.

      *Those who believe in the unity of God and do righteous deeds for God’s sake only, God has promised to take them to paradise. As for those who disobeyed God’s signs, verses and commands and disbelieved in Him they will enter the abode of hell;

      This is a sincere invitation to all Christians because I know their preachers have a high degree of eloquence and knowledge.

      I hope you will also pass my short message to all your members in your parish (before they perish) so as to salvage them (and firstly to rescue your souls) from the blasphemy I heard on the show in the form of associating and taking partners with the Almighty God: God is not a father of anyone and Jesus is not His child. In addition, Jesus was never crucified (Jesus was raised and was protected by God from any persecution and was saved and will surely return to earth to right all the wrongs that have been made by priests in the name of God).

      We are all creatures that God created so let us do what God loves and keep away from what He dislikes (e.g. keep away from malesting innocent young -or old- children ….for more details on this important subject, please contact your nearest Islamic Center for further elaborations).

      Finally, no one is responsible for the sins of others. If any of you continue sinning and insisting on your sins then I swear by the Almighty God that no one will come to your rescue on the last Day of Judgment, not even Jesus peace and blessing of God be upon him.

      We shall all be returning to God and only He (God the One and Only) will deal with all of us; He has no partners, He was not born, and He does not beget and there is none same unto Him (period).

      Keep away from sinning and from playing with children and from disobeying God. How could you do that and still preach to be guided by God. The Devil has taken all your souls! Come back to the true path, return to Islam the natural and lasting religion from God.

      Thank you for taking the time to read my letter and I really wish you true guidance in this world (the here) and salvation (in the herafter).

      Allah – The True God- is Alone my Witness.

    7. Coral says:

      Right now it looks like Drupal is the top blogging platform available right now.
      (from what I’ve read) Is that what you are using on your blog?

    8. My relatives all the time say that I am killing my time here at web, but I know I am
      getting experience every day by reading such good content.

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